The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
