Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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