I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
