It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
