youre lurking in front of me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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