had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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