WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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