About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
