Tell her she can't have a vagina
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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