good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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