I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize