She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
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