This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
