you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize