lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
