in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
