Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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