i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
