ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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