I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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