yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
