It's like God shit irony all over that family
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
