Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
