I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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