If that was your dad, he is hot
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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