Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
