Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize