and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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