Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
