You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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