why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
