Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
