i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The power of my boobs compel you
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
