He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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