I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
