her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
