Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
