This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
