He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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