seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
