So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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