Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
