What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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