I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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