Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize