I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Vodka?
Forever.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
