barbara walters just said penis...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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