I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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