we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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