when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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