end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
