I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
