Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
