Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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