I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sober January is a disaster.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
