im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
