The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
