I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
