if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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