my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
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He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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