couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
