I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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